How to discover what's in your shadow through shadow work

Shadow Work is a powerful tool for self-discovery and emotional healing, but one of the biggest challenges in this process is figuring out what exactly lies within your shadow. The “shadow,” as described by Carl Jung, consists of the unconscious parts of ourselves that we’ve repressed or denied—often because they’re uncomfortable, socially unacceptable, or at odds with our ideal self-image. However, these hidden aspects still influence our thoughts, behaviours, and relationships, often in ways we’re unaware of.

Shadow Work, or Deep Process Psychotherapy, is best undertaken with a qualified, experienced practitioner. However, there are steps we can take to uncover the hidden parts of ourselves, discover what's in shadow and begin the process of integration.

1. Pay Attention to Emotional Triggers

One of the clearest signs that something lurks in your shadow is when you have an intense emotional reaction to something or someone. Emotional triggers—whether it's anger, jealousy, fear, or extreme discomfort—are often signals that a part of your shadow is being activated.

For example, if you feel deeply irritated by someone’s arrogance, you could have repressed your desire for recognition or self-importance. By reflecting on these emotional reactions, you can identify the qualities or desires you’ve disowned and pushed into the unconscious.

How to use this:

• Keep a journal of situations or people that trigger strong emotional reactions in you.
• Reflect on why these reactions happen. What does this situation reveal about you?
• Ask yourself, “What part of myself am I rejecting or avoiding here?”

2. Examine Your Projections

In psychology, projection is when we unconsciously attribute qualities or feelings we dislike about ourselves to others. When we’re quick to criticize others or focus on their perceived flaws, it can be a clue that those very traits exist within us—hidden in our shadow.

For instance, you might frequently accuse others of being selfish, yet you may have repressed your own need for self-care or assertiveness, labelling those desires as selfish. Shadow work involves reclaiming these disowned parts of ourselves.

How to use this:

• Notice when you harshly judge or criticize others. What specific traits or behaviours bother you the most?
• Consider whether these traits exist within you. Have you rejected or denied them because they don’t align with your self-image?
• Reflect on how embracing these traits in a healthy way could benefit you.

3. Reflect on Repeated Patterns in Your Life

Repeated patterns of conflict, self-sabotage, or unfulfilled desires often stem from unconscious material in the shadow. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle—whether in relationships, career challenges, or negative thought patterns—it could be that unresolved parts of your shadow are at play.

For example, if you repeatedly end up in relationships with emotionally unavailable people, it might suggest that you’ve repressed your fear of intimacy or vulnerability. The shadow keeps us locked in these patterns until we bring those unconscious parts into the light.

How to use this:

• Identify patterns or cycles that keep repeating in your life.
• Ask yourself, “What underlying belief, fear, or need is driving this behaviour?”
• Journal about past experiences and explore how they may relate to these patterns.

4. Explore Childhood Experiences

Much of what forms our shadow is rooted in childhood. Early experiences, especially those involving shame, punishment, or rejection, shape what we believe is acceptable or unacceptable about ourselves. Qualities that were discouraged or punished by caregivers often get pushed into the shadow.

For instance, a child who was repeatedly told to "be quiet" or "not be so emotional" might suppress their need for expression, leading to a shadow filled with unexpressed emotions. Exploring childhood memories can help you uncover the origins of your shadow traits.

How to use this:

• Reflect on your childhood. Were there specific emotions or traits that you were discouraged from expressing?
• Think about how those experiences may have shaped who you are today.
• Write about any unresolved feelings or unmet needs from childhood.

5. Look for Qualities You Admire or Envy in Others

Sometimes, the shadow contains not just negative traits but also positive ones—potential talents, desires, or qualities that you’ve suppressed. If you find yourself admiring or envying certain people for their confidence, creativity, or assertiveness, it might mean that these are qualities you’ve buried in your shadow due to fear or self-doubt.

In this case, shadow work involves reclaiming and embracing these positive traits, recognizing that they’re part of who you are, even if they’ve been pushed into the unconscious.

How to use this:

• Pay attention to people you admire or envy. What specific traits do they embody that resonate with you?
• Ask yourself, “Have I ever denied these qualities in myself?”
• Consider ways you can begin expressing these qualities in your own life.

6. Use Creative Tools to Access the Unconscious

Creativity offers a gateway to the unconscious mind, which is where the shadow resides. Engaging in activities like drawing, writing, or free-form journaling without judgment allows hidden aspects of the psyche to surface. Symbolism, imagery, and metaphors often emerge in creative expression, offering clues to what’s in the shadow.

For instance, you might try stream-of-consciousness writing, where you let your thoughts flow freely without censorship. You can then look for patterns, recurring themes, or surprising emotions that point to shadow material.

How to use this:

• Try free writing or sketching as a way to explore your unconscious mind.
• Focus on feelings, memories, or thoughts that arise without trying to control or direct them.
• Afterwards, review your work and see if any surprising or unfamiliar elements emerge that could be part of your shadow.

The Power of Self-Discovery in Shadow Work

Discovering what’s in your shadow is a profoundly transformative process. While it may feel uncomfortable to confront the parts of yourself that you’ve hidden, doing so opens the door to greater self-awareness, emotional healing, and personal growth. You can gradually bring the unconscious into the light by paying attention to your triggers, projections, repeated patterns, and childhood experiences and engaging in creative self-exploration.

The journey of shadow work is ongoing, but each step toward uncovering and integrating your shadow brings you closer to a fuller, more authentic version of yourself. By embracing all aspects of your psyche—both light and dark—you can live a more balanced, empowered, and compassionate life.